No Arsene, that would be the day you joined the Gooners and introduced your now infamous, lying "I 'aven't seen eet as I was looking ze uzzer way" comments and your rather physical style of football, perhaps characterised best by Patrick "Thug" Viera, (the Roy Keane of football). Oh, and your signing of Mr Reyes, the best diver since Didier Drogba.

Personally, I would have killed myself laughing if Martin Jol had chinned you. Two of your players bumped into each other. Big wow. Don't you teach your players to play to the whistle, or did you just think the ref would recognise your divine right to whatever decision you want, whenever you want?

FOR FUCK'S SAKE: QUIT WHINING YOU LANKY FROGGY TWAT!

Sorry – bit carried away there.

Look Ars, if it really upsets you, then no-one is stopping you leaving the UK. Really.

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