I have a friend who is convinced that the Netherlands are going to win the World Cup. I thought that they were in  with a good chance too, but only if they can keep their feet a little better than this weekend.

I'm talking (of course) of Robben, van Persie, van Nistelrooy and (in a Spanish departure for SS.co.uk), Mark van Bommel. Yes, between them they made valuable contributions to their respective teams, but – jeez! – are Holland going to take over where Savo Milosevic and his Yugoslav friends left off?

Once again, this is a bizarre case of decent players throwing themselves around and cheating. These are great players (apart from van Nistelrooy, who just looks like a horse) (although not in the shower, I hear) – this is a part of their game that we don't need to see.