OK – here we go.

March 23, 2006

The Diveometer – how’s it going to work?

Marks out of 10 will be awarded to a given player for each of the following categories for any given game:

  1. Frequency of diving – how often did he do it?
  2. Artistic Impression – was it good quality theatrical diving? How far was the nearest player when he did it? 3 miles?
  3. Effect of diving – did he get the anyone booked? Did he win a penalty etc?
  4. General ref hassling – did he get his opinion in when he really didn’t need to? How was his moaning? Physical abuse scores extra, sadly.
  5. Niggle factor – how many of those “little things” did he do to annoy the opposition?

So that’s a mark out of 50, we’ll double it up to make a percentage and then stick it into a league table – one for players, one for teams. One note – the same player from any given team cannot be used twice in succession – i.e. it’s Drogba today, so another Chelsea player must be rated before Drogba can be used again. We don’t want to pick on anyone. Really.

Got it? Good.


Cisse “sorry”

March 22, 2006

The weird-haired wonder has apologised for being “disrepectful” to Newcastle’s fans after his gestures towards them in Sunday’s game.

“When the penalty went in, I was absolutely delighted”  he said.

Yes, Djibril, so you should be, cos you’ve been pants recently.
But that’s not the Gallowgate End’s fault, now is it?

The great thing about Liverpool is that although they are definitely one of the Big 4 of English football, they have (generally) resisted the evil plague of diving and bad sportsmanship which we at SS.co.uk would so like to see stamped out of the game. Chelsea have Drogba, ManYoo have Ronaldo, Arsenal have Reyes. Actually, Arsenal also have Pires too. And Bergkamp and Fabregas and Senderos. And.. well, anyway – this post is about today’s game, and Arsenal weren’t playing in it.

Referee Mike Riley kinda lost it in this one. The midfield battle between Bowyer and Hamann was a particular feature with Riley inconsistent with his use of the yellow card – especially in the 78th minute when Hamann kicked out at Bowyer for the 94th time and Mr Riley reached for the card, but then apparently changed his mind at the last moment, instead changing the action of grabbing his yellow card into a subtle arse scratch.
Yes, Boumsong deserved his red – for the foul, but also for the dreadful miskick that let Freaka Crouch in on goal, but this match was all about Djibril Cisse.

Booked for his celebration (he lifted his shirt over his head), and remember:

  • Removing a jersey is defined as removing the jersey over the head or covering the head with the jersey.
  • Getting Shirty

    Cisse then goaded the crowd at the Gallowgate end with some bizarre finger wiggling and excessive tongue usage – a kind of action only previously seen during an All-Black Haka. Also a yellow card offence, but Mike Riley declined to act. Why was that, Mike? 
    So, Mike Riley gets our first refs thumbs down. You were rubbish.
    And, Djibril Cisse gets our first players thumbs down. No need, mate – really.

    Meanwhile at Fulham, Chelsea remind the ref that the handball law doesn’t apply to Didier Drogba. Mark Pembridge (far left) has seen it all before. Check his expression. He could write for us. If he wasn’t Welsh, obviously.

    Drogba - a bit handy.


    Thanks for reading StrikerSniper.co.uk, the site for you to voice your opinion on the epidemic of cheating, diving football players which is slowly ruining the beautiful game that we love.

    We’re just setting up at the moment, but hope to be up and running in time for the World Cup which should be a DiveFest of note.

    After that, we’ll be concentrating mainly on the Premiership and offering incisive comment and opinion as well as our soon-to-be-infamous Diveometer to rate the dives, the cheats AND the refs.

    So click the RSS feed in the sidebar and come back soon – oh – and theatrically throw yourself through the door on the way out.